Fall, Glimmer, Sparkle and Fade

:: Thursday, July 22, 2004 ::

Can You Believe Ashlee Simpson Dyed Her Hair?

Deirdre thinks I read:
Even though the days of summer reading are long gone, what are The Ryno's Top 5 favorite authors?

I'm pretty amazed she dyed her hair too.  But what can you do?  Lets hope JoJo doesn't go down the same road and try something radical with her hair.  At least neither got married, which is something we can't say about Michelle Branch.  Damn shame.  Anyways, where was I.  Oh, right...  favorite authors.  When I think author, I think novel.  Unfotunately (?), I'm not so much a fan of the 'novel'.  Magazines, newspapers, websites...  those I read regularly.  I've never been one to rush out and buy a book by a specific author.  The last three books I read were all by different people.  I'm so uncultured.  I love it.

1. Mike Lupica
- His column in the Daily News every Sunday is the one thing I make an effort to read on a regular basis. We share an equal loathing for George Steinbrenner and the Yankees, which obviously helps. The odd thing with my feelings towards Lupica is that I only enjoy him in print. I never like the stuff he does for ESPN.  He seems to come across a bit too over the top on TV.  Check out his latest Shooting from the Lip.  Get it?  Those wacky writers with their word plays

Kobe Bryant, if he stays out of jail, now gets the chance to play the part he desperately wants to play: Michael Jordan.
But even Michael had rebounders in Chicago.

2. Bill Simmons
- Otherwise known as The Sports Guy on ESPN.com.  Don't let the name deceive you though, he writes about plenty more than just sports.  If he isn't ranting about The Real World or his other reality TV obsession of the week, he's tackling pop culture in general.  His most recent article deals with The Summer of the Jeopardy Guy.  Plus, each and every heartbreaking Red Sox game (and there are plenty of them) comes with an extra bonus.  That bonus being that I know I can read about it the next day on The Sports Guy's page.  Good times. 

I'm obsessed with the Jeopardy Guy. Watching this Mormon assassin emerge as the MJ of nerds has been the highlight of my summer. He's earned the coveted No.1 spot on my TiVo Season Pass, as well as acronym status: the Sports Gal and I refer to him as the JG. I wish I were kidding. Watching him pocket a million-plus during his astounding 35-game winning streak -- still going as I write this -- we alternately revered him and hoped Alex Trebek would punch him in the face.

3. Rick Reilly
- I've decided that this man is responsible for me reading magazines backwards.  I never could put my finger on why I have this stupid quirk in which I start reading a magazine from the back and work my way to the front.  After much debate, I've come to the conclusion that I'll just blame Rick Reilly, because his article -- Life of Reilly -- has been a staple on the back page of Sports Illustraded since before I could even read.  He's also quite the novelist.  Check out his latest book Who's Your Caddy?  Top notch.

Boo to the 'Subscription Only' SI Archive

4. Peter King 
- Another Sports Illustrated writer, King's best work is his weekly Monday Morning Quarterback column.  Unlike Lupica's column, I don't freak out if I miss out on it, but only because I'm new to the column.  There isn't anything he doesn't discuss, including his family life.  And it isn't self indulgent at all.  Instead, I find it adds a bit of humanity to sportswriting that is too often missing.  He's on vacation now, but you'll be able to read new MMQB columns starting this Monday the 26th.

His last Quote Of The Week from MMQB:
"This is a catastrophe of Biblical proportions.''
-- ESPN radio host Mike Greenberg, on the news that Marv Albert would not be doing Knicks games on TV or radio next year.
Plagues. Earthquakes. Tidal waves. No Marv on Knicks games.
That's a good fit.

5. Mark Kriegel
- This guy disappeared for a couple years.  I used to love his column, On The Mark (more of that wacky word play), which showed up Friday's in the New York Daily News, but was always very erratic.  It would run every week for two months and then you wouldn't be able to find it for a month.  Very odd.  Then he left the Daily News altogether and only recently has he resurfaced because of the new biography "Namath" -- in which he wrote -- hits stores on Aug. 23. 

:: Ryan 7:15 PM [+] ::
...

It's Not You, It's Me

If only I had the power:
Top 5 other bands that, like creed, you'd like to disband. And why.

Imagine if you could make certain bands just go away. Oh, I get excited just thinking about it. Unfortunately, I don't have that type of power. Damn shame. Although it's not as if I'd just pick my least favorite groups. No, I'd have to go with the ones that are simply doing the most damage to the current state of music. There are a handful of bands I really like that I would feel obliged to end. Sort of like the old family dog. You don't want to put him to sleep, but he's better off if you do. Don't get me wrong, under most circumstances I'd have to dislike them, but I wouldn't want Dave Matthews Band to break up just because they aren't my cup of tea. They've never done anything to me or music as a whole. In fact, they have inspired quite a few amazing artists who otherwise might not have decided on music as a career. So with all that in mind.


1. Nickelback
- This was the easiest choice I think I've ever had to make for any of the lists I've done to this point. Not only do I absolutely hate them, but they have people believing that they should be the bar for which other rock bands are measured by. You know what I think about that? Bullshit. Plain and simple. Maybe if they broke up, they could fade into obscurity like Quiet Riot.

2. Linkin Park
- I understood why these guys were so popular when they came out. They were 'on the edge' and it gave kids that are mad at their parents something to blare on their stereo. That makes perfect sense, we've all needed bands like that. But at this point I really don't get it. To me, their last single sounded way too much like their first. Mix it up or go away.

3. Hanson
- These guys (no longer kids, right?) are like a pesky fly. Just when you think you finally killed it, the damned things starts buzzing around your head again. I respect the persistence, I do. But it's about time they retire to an island somewhere and just count their 'Mmmmbop' money.

4. Third Eye Blind
- They're one of my favorite bands, but I think they've reached the end of the road. The music clearly went downhill after guitarist Kevin Cadogan was ousted by Stephan Jenkins and some would argue they should have called it quits after "Blue" was released. Plus, Jenkins has enough name recognition that he could go solo and still draw a crowd.

5. Train
- This was a tough one for me. I really like their first two records and the new one isn't bad, just very ordinary. Not only do I think they have already peaked, but two members have already left the group. At this point it's looking and sounding way too much like the Pat Monahan Project. I hope they prove me wrong with the next album, but it might be time for these boys to pack up their bags and go home.

:: Ryan 2:37 AM [+] ::
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